Short version: In 2000, when we were both 13, this girl and I met online. She is in OK and I am in IL and we quickly formed a deep friendship and love. We went through sexuality issues together and everything. That was our big thing. We shared the struggle together and came into each others lives just as we needed to. We each fell in love with a girl (each other, lol) for the first time. We've been off and on in communication the last few years; she's gotten into some trouble with drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, etc. and we just haven't kept in touch as much. I love and miss her every day and I think she's the only girl in the world I would risk everything for.
Well, she was dating this woman (we're 19, she's 32) and the day before they were set to move to CA together, the woman cheated on my girl with [the woman's] ex. Well, they got back together (and stayed in OK) after that for some reason, and a few days ago, she cheated on my girl again with the same woman.
My gal wrote this poem a few days ago: http://sarahrose.livejournal.com/1013048.html
I wrote this "in response" yesterday.
Everyday I miss you.
But we haven’t met.
Everyday I love you
But I don’t know why.
You’re so far away and I don’t know why I love you
because you’re so far away.
And we have never met.
My heart knows your touch
My hands know your skin
My lips know your kiss.
They are imagined.
I have never felt your touch
And you have touched my heart.
I love them here – these homes, these people.
But I want something more.
I want to hear a doorbell ring and see you there
And hear you say…
“I am something more.”
I want to see you.
Every morning for the rest of my life.
I want to go to school
And to work
And to life
With you there.
A kiss and a wave as you hold your cup of coffee in the front door.
I want you to want me so bad it hurts.
I want you to need me, even if it’s on paper.
I want you to save me from this monotony and confusion and unhappiness and self-pity and loneliness.
I want you to come to my door with nothing in your hand but space for mine.
I want life to be a book, a movie, a play.
I want to live what I write, write what I love, live how I feel.
I want to know you in and out.
I want to see your heart when I look in your eyes.
I want to swim in the depths of your soul
And cry by the sea of your heart.
I want to kiss those Angelina lips
In the dark by the shore
And kick off our shoes and jump in
Jump in all the way to our hearts.
And dive into sunset love colored pink.
I want to sleep peacefully all day with nowhere to go but deeper into the striped comforter
That we picked out together for our bed.
I want you to be the only person in my world who is my world.
That matters to my living.
I want you to need me forever
And sweep me up in your arms of love and happiness.
I want to feel happiness and not just
I don’t want to miss you anymore.
I don’t want to cry about you anymore.
I don’t want to see you cry.
I want you to read my words and know it’s you I need.
I want you to come to me
And try to make our dreams come try.
Because even if they’re not perfect, they’re ours.
And even if it ends up all muddled
At least we messed up together.
And being together is our biggest dream of all.
I want you to know our love will last forever
Here or there
But I prefer here
And I know you’ll make me happy.
And I know how hard that is to do.
And I know you’ll make me happy.
And I know you’ll save me someday.
And I want you here.
And I want to save you.